Her advice to those considering swinging: “If your marriage is struggling, don’t do it. I exclusively date swingers now because I meet a much better class of men. I have sexual confidence that I didn’t have before. Swinging changed me personally for the better. How it impacted her relationship: “ honestly had no effect on our relationship, which ended for other reasons. I then told him that if he had just talked to me about it, it was something I could be open to.”
He explained to me what swinging was, but I furthered my knowledge by reading everything I could. Some time later, I confronted him about it. I saw some sites that I was not familiar with, but I was appalled by what a saw. One day he forgot to log off the computer and I looked at his browser. How she got into it: “I was introduced to swinging by my former husband, and not in a good way. She loves her work as a sex coach and says if it weren’t for swinging, she wouldn’t be where she is now. Know your rules and limits before you get into a situation because you can’t really get upset with your partner if you didn’t talk about.” Jody was introduced to swinging five years ago and is currently single. Also, you need to have conversations with your spouse or partner before you go into it.
Her advice to those considering the lifestyle: “For couples who are considering it, we suggest that you better have a really good relationship starting out because it doesn’t fix broken relationships, it only breaks them up faster. When you talk about it makes it so much easier to discuss other issues in the relationship.” Not all experiences were 100 percent pleasurable, so we made an effort to have those conversations and keep the lines of communication open. How it impacted her relationship: “It’s really helped strengthen our relationship. My husband knew that I was bi-curious when we met, so on the anniversary of our first date, we decided to explore and went to a swingers club.” How she got into it: “I grew up with this idea that there’s not just one person for anyone and that we can enjoy being with multiple people, as well as the idea that you can have sex without having emotion tied to it. Nicole has been with her husband for 18 years and they’ve been swinging for 17. Below, four women get real about what their own swinging experiences were really like. If you’re reading this and feeling a bit curious about swinging - either with your spouse, a new or long-time partner, or just that cool friend with benefits you have an understanding with - there are a few more things you should know before you dive in. “From there, you and your partner may find you even strengthen your communication and trust, and build an even more solid foundation upon which to have sexy adventures,” says Morse. Once you’ve established what jealousy looks like or doesn’t look like for you as a couple, you can move on to thinking about swinging more seriously. If either of you tend to experience jealousy intensely, then swinging could potentially be a challenge for your relationship, according to Morse. That self-awareness piece (and knowledge of your partner) is key here. Through meeting and exploring sex with other couples, learning new peoples’ bodies and preferences can help you become more aware of your own and your partner’s as a result, says Morse. The sky is pretty much the limit - you can head to designated clubs and on cruises for swingers and connect with people who will make your couples’ trip that much sexier and gratifying. If you are in a secure and trusting spot in your relationship, trying swinging can be an amazing “erotic adventure,” according to Morse. “If anything, it will put a spotlight on the problems in your current relationship, whether that’s a lack of trust, a lack of connection, or an inability to communicate,” says Morse. It’s also not ideal to try swinging as a way to “spice things up” in a relationship that might be on the rocks.
“Most folks think any type of non-monogamy is about more sex, but if anything, it requires more communication!” You need to take extra time to process your emotions around your sexual relationships and how its impacting your main partner, even if you develop other sexual and romantic connections, emphasizes Morse. Emily Morse, host of the podcast “ Sex With Emily ” and author of Smart Sex. “For any type of ethical non-monogamy to work peacefully, and here I’ll include swinging, you really have to be on top of your communication game, and be incredibly self-aware,” says Dr. Here’s one major caveat: You need to communicate exactly what the arrangement is.
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